Never Alone, Always Alone.

In the World, but not Of the World.

Everyone, and No One.

Everybody, but Nobody.




Duality | Singular

Ohmy.

I need help. Professional help.

I can't believe I emo-ed over nothing.

Occam's razor is right.

I think too much.

Sigh.

I apologize; I'm sorry and I wish I had never posted such emo stuff.

Its the small things

I over-reacted.

Ohwells.

no Reason for Emotion

Posts removed.

还哭

I hate being right.

I hope its not on purpose.

Why this suddenly?

Oh my.

That last post was really emo. And the last part sounded so desperate. heh.

Sometimes I wonder what comes over me.

Thank God for friends :D

Math portfolio here I come.

I don't know why it affects me but it does.
The waiting really kills me.

Its like,
I check every 5 minutes.
Sometimes it comes really late

Or not at all.

Like now. 3h 44m later, still no response.
Nil. Nada. Nix. Nothing

Sometimes I wonder why I'm so nice. To everyone in general, I mean. Not just you in particular.

Should such an inconsequential person even bother trying to be of consequence?
(I'm emoing again, not good)

But I'm always empty. Never alone, but always alone.

And I try, I really do, to be of importance to others. To matter. But I guess I'm destined to just occupy a very tiny space on this planet. (And your heart)
And I don't even believe in "destiny".

I wish I could just tell you now. But we all learn from experience, and Experience dictates that I keep my mouth shut.

(I have no idea how much longer this post is going to be)

Besides, I shouldn't say anything. Not when I'm not even sure yet. Then again, how can we be sure of anything?

Life for me is a series of Postulations and Perhapses. Ifs. Buts. Maybes.

Wishful thinking, is all it is.

Life is no fairytale. There are no "Ever Afters".

I wish...

I didn't lie so much. To myself. To everyone. But

Truth, is relative.

You, dear reader, must be thinking:
"This is it, he's finally LOST HIS fucking MARBLES." Yeah, maybe I have.

Don't bother asking me if I'm alright, or okay. You know what my answer is going to be.

"I'm fine! No problem! Right as rain!"
I smile, and continue playing bridge.
"C'mon guys, 3 no trump lets go!"
I barely manage a grin.

My favourite card game is bridge, not goddamn solitaire.

Fuck this. While the rest of the class is at drama night, I'm here emoing in front of my keyboard. I guess I'll just go for drama tomorrow night. Alone. And guitar too. Alone. And band. ______ . (insert appropriate word here)

Who is. Me?

"A nice guy"
"Reliable"
"Diligent"
"Funny"
Always with a smile, a lame joke, ever-reliable, Nice.

Big Deal.

No matter how much you think you can read me, you'll never understand me.
Too many shadows, too many secrets, too many layers upon layers to peel away. Like an onion.
And I hate onions. Which could be the reason why I don't understand myself as well as I ought to.

And if I ever understand myself, I think I wouldn't be able to stand me.
So maybe I should sit. heh.

I thought we were friends, you know. The swap, the nice words exchanged. And the reading, ah, the reading. But I guess it was nothing more than a vapour. Lingering only for a fleeting moment. Then disappearing forever.

Or maybe I'm just paranoid.
Maybe I'm just impatient.
Maybe I should be like Almásy, fasting until he sees what he wants.
Maybe I'm over-thinking things again.


Maybe,

I just need a hug.
I've forgotten what that feels like.








and The End begets the Beginning of questioning:

Who does the "you" in this post refer to?


Have fun figuring that one out.

I've been following its progress since they signed Chris and Christian for the sequel. I've watched Batman Begins almost 8 times. I've taken part in nearly every single one of their (very well-planned) viral campaign games. I watched the first trailer 3 times, and the second one, 5. I read through all the rumours and spoilers. I voted for Harvey Dent for District Attorney on their online poll. I have had the phrase "Why so serious" stuck in my head since the first time I saw Heath Ledger utter them on my laptop screen.

And when it finally comes out...

(almost) EVERYONE I KNOW GETS TO SEE IT BEFORE ME! :(

If you're one of those who, like me, have waited and waited FOREVER and still haven't seen it yet, my heart goes out to you. But fret not, for the long awaited moment draws nigh, and soon all our hopes and expectations and aspirations will be fulfilled. Soon, I WILL BE COMPLETE! (insert The Joker's cackle here)

Because, I'm going to watch The Dark Knight as soon as...

1. I Finish History IA
2. I Get the Singapore Orchid Show over and done with
3. I Get chinese group oral over and done with
4. I Discuss IOP topic with aloyslim

...or I go nuts from the wait, run away, and buy tickets to watch 3 back-to-back screenings of it. Whichever comes first. heh.

Anyways enough of that, Caleb (thanks man, I'm supposed to be doing IA now you know...lol) tagged me. Here goes:

10 random facts about yourself:

- My favourite character in Star Trek is the android Data
- I own X pairs of shoes, X>10 heehee
- I don't like eating onions
- My highscore for this game, Texun, is 30.576 secs (go download it, its addictive :)
- I plan on owning the whole of known civilisation one day. (world domination muahahahaha)
- I (used to) collect stamps
- I like shiny, sparkly things. Like gemstones and such. :)
- I have the Monopoly money division rule memorised.
(two 500's, two 100's, two 50's, six 20's, five 10's, five 5's, and five 1's, total $1500 )
- I am the only May baby in my family
- I can transform most Transformers toys without looking at the instruction manual first.

9 good things in your life:

- Family
- God
- Friends
- School
- Dvd player
- Laptop
- Music
- Food
- Sleep

8 things you wish for:

- L___
- faster internet connection
- A social life? hmm
- Better work ethics ( I should be doing Hist IA now)
- Knowledge
- Superpowers!
- Height. heh.
- More wishes? :D

7 people, or groups of people, who make you smile:

- Family
- Charlotte!
- Caleb
- Fei
- Nat Tan and Weng Yew
- Lyn (haha)
- Everyone in 5.17 (incl. Ranjee and Kelly Chan hahahaha)

6 bad things in your life:

- History IAs (grrrr)
- Homework
- Loneliness...sigh
- hmm
- hmm
- er when I think of more I'll let you know. Next!

5 Lame things you have done:

- Crack corny jokes
- Balanced chairs on two legs in the SAC...anyone want a demonstration?
- Walked into a column
- Viwawa-ing instead of working
- Attended one of JTSH's econs lessons (lol)

4 nice numbers:

- 6
- 9
- 105
- 42

3 cool songs:

- Hammer to Fall by Queen
- I Believe in a thing called Love by The Darkness (ohyeahhh)
- The Music of the Night by Andrew Lloyd Webber from The Phantom of the Opera

2 things you have ever regretted doing:

- Temporarily screwing up a friendship awhile back. At least its all good now :)
- Watching the Son of the Mask 3 years ago. (EPIC WASTE OF TIME. Remember that movie, Nat?)

1 thing you wanna do right now:

- Watch you-know-what. Refer to top of post for answer.

9 people you think you would wanna tag:

1. Tiara
2. Jethro
3. Basil
4. Juns
5. Fei
6. Nat
7. Tony Paul
8. Yisheng (update lahh...seriously)
9. Everett

State the best thing about No. 3 (Basil) and No. 9 (Everett)
Basil is the bassist and Everett whos in drama is the drummer haha!

The number of branded things No. 1 (Tiara) owns?
Too many to count. Such a vast amount cannot possibly be quantified. Hahahha

Your relationship with No. 7 (Tony Paul)
Hes a good friend! Rarely get a chance to talk him nowadays...hes always stoning anyway haha :)

How did you meet No. 5 (Juns)?
I met her during my first HL English Lesson of the year :D

Two reasons why No. 2 (Jethro) would be enemies with you.
None! Jet's such a nice guy

One random fact about No. 4 (Fei)
She was bobbing at BoB last friday! Hahahha

Why No. 8 (Yisheng) makes a good friend
Hes a really good friend and a great listener. Thanks for being there man :)

Whether you think you can last in a relationship with No. 6 (Nat)
Absolutely mans. Just friends though hahaha. Hes a guy! lol


Yeahhh finished! Back to IA, then.

History IA is killing me.

Number of Topic changes: 5
Days to submission: 2
Number of books to read: 6,7,8?
Number of parts completed: 0/3
uh-oh.

Anyways I've just been informed of an interesting piece of information. Apparently I've been linked (romantically) to half the girls in the year 5 cohort. Considering that:

1. I'm a nerdy geek with no semblance of a social life and
   
2. I know only a third of the girls in the year 5 level,
   

I find that statement incredibly fascinating.

I also find fascinating the fact that when people in this school see two individuals of opposite gender walking down the corridor, they immediately begin to jump to certain unfounded conclusions.

Unfounded conclusions begets gossip begets misunderstandings begets emotional disaster.

I think I shall also take this opportunity to answer the question: Who does Chongy like?

Answer: I like N _ _ _ _ _ !


(try to fill in the other 5 letters before scrolling down for the answer :)


























NOBODY!

Hahahahhaha gotcha there for a moment didn't I? (this statement is directed especially to the guitarist and the drummer of the de-facto 5.17 band.)

But seriously, I don't like anyone.
Am I lying? You Bet I am.

I lie so often that my plane of existence is now horizontal -- flat.


Love to, but can't.

I am the luckiest guy in the world.

Just made it for Chinese
Barely scraped through for Math

thirtyeight. ohmy.

Call me fluke boy :) I've taken tyco-ness to whole new level.heh.

And I finally found two things yesterday. One was a revelation, the other, a digital patient.


I have an announcement to make






tomorrow.

I love the sound of you walking away.

You may Say it isn't so, but I believe in a thing called love;
That Crazy little thing called love.
All you need is love, right?

I guess I need Help, not just anybody, though.
Though you Said nothing at all,
You opened up A whole new world and made me a Better man.
Even If it kills me, I'm yours.

Come fly with me, take me To where you are,
On this Starry starry night.

Suddenly I see, your Gravity.
Oh how I need The remedy.

Yesterday is just a Memory. This is the night.
Its my life, isn't it?
Its now or never.
I just gotta have Faith.

Won't anybody find me, Somebody to love?



I love the Music of the Night :)